Mirage, definition: Hallucination and optical illusions. These days have been feeling unreal, I woke up with the weirdest dream of Joe, and this exit door with a huge exit sign, and as the doors opened it’s bright and beautiful inside, like heaven. I can’t really find the words to describe how I have been feeling lately, I don’t feeling particularly happy, but I don’t think I feel sad. I just feel ok. But maybe ok is ok, feeling ok is ok. I don’ have to force myself to feel happy every single minute of the day, I don’t have to feel unsafe in my own skin, I am no longer scared of losing people in my life and I say this in the best way possible, it feels relieving and good. If someone wants to walk out of my life, I let them. I know deep down that of course, I lash out at people and there are days where I don’t really feel my best, but you know what, that is ok, because again I am just a human being who has these valid emotions and feelings. In my heart, I know I am a nice person and the ONLY person in this world that isn’t going to let me down in life is me. I won’t let myself down, I will be with me for another 100 years, so I should never ever place my happiness in the hands of another person, or someone that could and will let me down. I am my own hero, fuck all the hero’s they talk about in the film, superman batman what not, I am my own hero. Although I am beyond grateful for the good things that I have been given and the prerequisites that I have been given in my life, and for that I am beyond grateful for my parents and the good that they have given me, but life is hard and that is OK. I have been through hard times in life and still and in the future I know I will still go through struggles and difficult times, but that is completely normal and this is life. My purpose in life is giving back to my community and my parents that have been given so much to me. My purpose in life is to work hard and when I mean work hard, work when people are enjoying their life, I should perhaps get myself to sing some christmas caroles later? And upload it up onto youtube. My own created album of christmas songs, I could perhaps write my own christmas songs? My purpose in life is to work hard and stick to my words. This year, I am going to lose so much weight, read more books, get better grades and finish all the note taking x3 today. And start writing my essay soon.
- Lose weight, maintain 49 kg
- Go to the gym three times a week
- Read 1 book per week
- Go to classes every single day and do not miss one single class
- Be grateful and go to church